The Story of Telling: Navigating the noteworthiness of you
Stay tuned for a special event announcement & giveaway at the end of this post!
Many business owners – yes, me too – have a difficult time defining their own noteworthiness.
When we look at what we do, how we do it, or the story of how we got to where we’re at, all we see is unremarkable. Our day to day tasks, the services we provide, and the manner in which we live seem all seem very normal. Hardly the stuff of press releases or blog posts.
Of course your life seems normal! It’s your life!
The difficult choices you’ve made now seem like no-brainers. The lessons you’ve learned now seem like kids’ stuff. You do what you do with ease, a fair amount of practice, and some innate skill.
I hope, though, that it comes as no surprise that your customers don’t see you that way. They see you as a rock star glamor queen who lives a magical life of goals accomplished & dreams fulfilled.
It’s also worth noting here that they see none of the people you judge yourself against.
This isn’t a matter of trickery or chance. It comes from understanding that you have what others need. After all, that’s the very basis of your business. You provide a service or product that fulfills some need for your customer.
So how do you discover what’s truly noteworthy so that you can engage & delight your customers? How do you communicate your story to your customers in a way that they can relate to?
I asked Bernadette Jiwa, who specializes in helping businesses find their story:
Take a step back, walk in your client’s (or potential customer’s) shoes and anticipate how they are feeling. Then build your story and brand experience around that.
Often, we are so busy thinking like a business owner that we forget to think like a customer! Doh!
When was the last time you looked at your website, business card, or press release from a customer’s perspective? When was the last time you spent some time looking at yourself from the perspective of your best clients?
Get in the mind of one of your best customers and ask yourself:
- What do I find intriguing?
- What do I find compelling?
- What do I aspire to?
- What resonates with me? Makes me feel like she “gets it?”
Then come back to your business owner mind and ask yourself if you’re really communicating those answers to your customers. If you are finding limited success, it’s quite possible that some people are putting two + two together but that you can help many more people discover your story!
If that still leaves you a bit confused, I’m excited to say that I’ll be hosting a Q&A call with Bernadette Jiwa herself next week, Wednesday, March 23 at 8:30pm Eastern. Click here to register.
We’ll also be giving away TWO of Bernadette’s signature Brand Storming sessions to people who join us LIVE on the call. They’re worth $497 a piece. Yeah, you want that.
If you want a chance to ask real questions about your real story, win a killer Brand Storming session, and just absorb some great information on discovering the story of your business, register for this FREE call now.
{ image by omar omar }
Turn Your Intro Out, on what it means to be an introverted business owner in the digital age
In any discussion of social media, blogging, networking, or any means of connecting one person to another, there is an inevitable point of resistance for many: I am an introvert.
Wallflower, you bring me joy.
You there in the corner, shy, soft-spoken, it’s time to turn your intro out.
It might surprise you to know that many of your entrepreneurial role models are introverts: Chris Guillebeau, Darren Rowse, Chris Garrett…
Me.
You don’t have to be a wam-bam-thank-ya-mam extrovert to get ahead in business. To build a network. To create a following of loyal fans.
You need to know your strengths, as they relate to yourself & to others.
Your inward business plan…
As an introvert, you lead a rich internal life. Instead of having an intuitive sense of others, you probably have an intuitive sense of yourself. You know what works for you, how you will react to different situations, what excites you, and why certain stimulus shuts you down.
That knowledge is invaluable in building a business platform that works for you – regardless of if it has been done before.
Your outward social profile…
Introverts naturally gravitate to low barrier social tools like blogging or Twitter. There, we can prepare our thoughts, research our answers, and quietly observe. Skills we’ve honed but rarely get to use in more immediate social circumstances.
The real trick in using social media as an introvert is learning to reveal the process. Instead of closing up your social process deep inside, letting it out – allowing others to see how you work through conversations, experiences, and questions – will naturally bring a sense of expertise, authority, and transparency to the profile you’re building.
Your growing relationships…
So much of building a business is nurturing relationships. Extroverts may have an easy time of finding new people to add to their ever-expanding network. But introverts rule the roost when it comes to taking those relationships to deeper levels.
With much of our lives lived at superficial-at-best levels, a business owner who takes the time to cultivate deep, lasting relationships with her customers, partners, and colleagues is a business owner worth investing in.
Introverts do well with deep relationships and conversations rather than chit-chat. Be generous in introducing people to each other as well. Then it’s easier for you to ask for introductions from your good contacts.
Nancy Ancowitz, author Self Promotion for Introverts (via Inc Magazine)
The internet has made it possible to connect to surprisingly perfect people. Perfect for you, that is. Take advantage of the low barriers and starting forming relationships that matter.
Use our own inner mind work to work out what others are feeling & experiencing and use that to connect with them. You may not be able to do that in real time or in person but give it an extra 30 seconds and you might be a social situation master! Conducting business in the online space allows you to do just that.
Your sense of self…
When it comes down to it though, as an introvert, it’s often lack of confidence in yourself that creates the biggest barrier to social exploration.
The good news is that the digital age means that your “authentic self” can still be a persona. In fact, developing a persona can help you get in touch with the deepest truths of our own quiet selves.
If you meet me at a conference or workshop, you would likely pass me by pretty quickly. Although I’m working on my social shortcomings, I’m not close to be where I’d like to be. I don’t ask the right questions, my stories ramble, and my words are awkward.
But my personal brilliance is bubbling just below the surface.
Online, I allow that brilliance to shine through. That is who I am. I know that I ask the right questions, tell remarkable stories, choose the right words (at least sometimes!), and make you feel at ease.
It’s not that the digital world allows me to be someone I am not, it’s that the barriers to my own sense are broken down.
Introvert, it’s your time to shine.
How can you challenge yourself to allow your own personal brilliance to brighten the lives of others today?
words without end – or – on the obfuscation of our digital language
There is a trend on the net today with which I’m rapidly approaching my boiling point.
Everywhere I go: words.
While there is much beautiful writing, many transformational stories, and an abundance of powerful thought, there is also a deep cavern of meaningless words on the internet. Words modifying words strung together with other words.
Glittery sparkles of fresh fun words.
See what I mean?
I can read a whole blog post or ebook and not know what was said. The words sound pretty – they fit a niche or target a market – but they don’t mean anything.
When I see words coupled in unusual ways, I drill down to understand what deeper meaning the author is trying to expose by using words in that way. This likely stems from my ever so brief introduction to deconstructionism.
Deconstruction is not a dismantling of the structure of a text, but a demonstration that it has already dismantled itself. Its apparently-solid ground is no rock, but thin air.
— J. Hillis Miller
Layering words, creating relationships between them, and generally making writing “prettier” doesn’t aid in others understanding you. It obfuscates your meaning.
Do you know what your meaning is?
Do you know what your trying to say?
Or are you applying word after word to your digital page in order to try to understand yourself better?
Strip down. Get bare. What do you really want to say?
I don’t mean this to be a lesson in writing; I am hardly qualified to teach.
I do, however, mean this to be a lesson in getting real with what you really want to say to the world. We talk often about finding our “authentic selves” but talk little about our “authentic message.”
You are what you think. You are also what you say.
– Natalie Sisson
We get clearer about how we want to be in the world without getting clearer on how we want to engage the world.
We don’t exist as solitary beings. Even authentic ones. We exist as people in relationship to others – and our words are a very big way we understand those relationships.
To be clear, direct, and always mindful of our deeper meaning in language is one way to strengthen those relationships and better understand who we are.
Use beautiful, powerful words – but consider them carefully.
Some of my favorite wordsmiths – those with deep meaning & winsome words – are Kelly Diels | Alexandra Franzen | Elizabeth Howard | Kristen Tennant.
{ image by soukup }
the many sides of balance, or not tipping the scales isn’t about equal weight
Your definition of balance is overrated.
Okay, I don’t know for sure that your definition is overrated.
But if it has anything to do with weighing out equal quantities of gold while a Lady Justice-esque woman looks on unknowingly, it is.
We have been programmed for strive for balance: family/work balance, give/take balance, eat your veggies/have your cake balance. We want to make sure each dangling tray carries the right amount of weight to keep the scale from tipping.
Phoey.
Contentment – nay, passion & joy – is about defying an equal-handed approach.
We indulge in work when we should be resting, we keep on giving when it’s time to take, we sneak a fork full of goey chocolate lava cake for breakfast. And we feel good about it.
We don’t feel off balance. We feel good.
The pursuit of balance makes us juggle. It puts us behind (always behind,) makes us guilty, neglectful, imbalanced. It’s as useful a concept as original sin. You can never get it right.
— Danielle LaPorte
Tipping the scales isn’t a matter of too much weight here, to little there. In order to maintain balance, you have to gently hold the focus of your passion, purpose, and values.
- If being a great mom & raising engaged children is important to you, do you need to fear the joy of working hard at your business?
- If serving others through your words & actions is your purpose, do you need to fear the need to make a living from what you do?
- If creating art & expressing yourself visually is your passion, do you need to fear the desire to have others love what you make?
We’ve created these false dichotomies. We’ve manifested dualities where none exist. We’ve set ourselves up for failure.
Your joy is whole. There is no need to balance the weight of what is demanded of you. Instead, honor all that you have to give.
{image via lululemon athletica}
how I hustled my way to fame & fortune with Twitter lists
Twitter by Pete Simon - click image for more information
This has been a great month. Not only has it been my best sales month to date but I have experienced feeling like a bona fide rock star, added several crazy smart & totally ambitious clients to my calendar, landed 2 stellar guest posts, and started to help organize 3 panel discussions with people I’m thrilled even know my name.
Like I said, mind-blowing month. And it’s not even over.
My word for 2011 is “hustle.”
[Hustling is] lots of work, lots of messaging.
Style with substance = impact.
— Chris Guillebeau, On Hustling
Hustling is doing great work and making sure people know about it. It makes your stomach feel a little weird but it gets easier the more you do it.
Hustling might require some reprogramming – it has for me – as you need to ignore the little voice inside your head that says “if it’s good enough, someone will find it.” ‘Cause that’s just not true. It’s a wide, wild world and you’ve got to shout it from the mountaintops when you have something to say.
So what about Twitter now?
Twitter is my platform of choice. Low barrier, fast & furious, easy to engage. I build relationships, I answer questions, I offer advice, I broadcast my message.
And I hustle.
At the end of last year, I put together a list of “movers & shakers.” It’s a private list – so don’t go looking for it! – and, while it includes some universally known rock stars, it is mostly made up of up & comers who are doing great work, looking for collaborative partners, and are still interested in building relationships.
Bloggers, speakers, authors, conference organizers, artists, agents, journalists. This list is stacked.
The list started small. Then it got bigger. And bigger. My list is constantly evolving – far from a closed clique of popular kids, it’s a growing, expanding love fest.
My list moves just fast enough that there’s always something new to see but nothing ever gets buried. That means I can always see what important-to-me people are saying: what questions they’re asking, what they need help with, what game-changing things they’ve written, what they had for lunch.
I respond. I retweet. I engage.
And most of the time, they tweet back.
Then there might be direct messages, blog comments, affiliate offers, joint ventures, interviews, email exchanges.
Twitter is the beginning but it’s certainly not the end of these growing relationships.
Twitter isn’t about tips, tricks, & tactics. It’s about communicating. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone to help others and to receive help. It’s about finding those people who light you up and not paying attention to those who darken your day. It’s about being fully present while staying sane in the constant barrage of information.
Twitter allows me to be the social me I want to be, pushing the “real” me closer & closer to that ideal.
I’m making friends, gaining partners, and doing some real heavy lifting.
All thanks to my Twitter list.
So if anyone tells you that Twitter isn’t worth the time, I’m telling you it’s all in how you use this fine tool.
planned obsolescence: not in this lifetime, or the how the digital & analog worlds are merely reflections of the same image
laser cut doily clock by uncommon - click image for more info
As the mother of a two year old, I am acutely aware that there is one life skill that my daughter may never really need to learn: how to read an analog clock.
I can remember many hours (days… weeks…) being spent on this important skill. Little hand, big hand, counting by fives, system of twelve. The wonders of the analog clock never cease!
Except that analog clocks are now more like quaint little treasures – accessory on a wall, bling around the wrist – than an actual tool for finding our way in time.
In fact, many have decried 2011 as the year that the mighty wristwatch would become obsolete entirely.
We exclusively access time through the interface of our digital devices: computers, tablets, and cell phones.
Time outside the network barely exists.
Our digital world has taken over a very simple, tangible part of the analog.
* * *
I graduated from college in 2004 – the year Facebook was founded. I blogged on Xanga and my first social network was a very brief experience with MySpace. I’m old school.
While I was blogging, I was fueled internally by a very external life. I was engaged in school organizations, doing deep work in theology, politically active. Ideas flowed into me via experience and flowed out of me via the net. It was a beautiful way to live. Connected.
After college and a crisis of personal faith [in myself], I stopped blogging. I was no longer connected, experientially or digitally. There was nothing to fuel me. I withdrew. It wasn’t pretty.
Craving the connection I had before, I opened an account on MySpace. It lasted a week or two. The last status update I made read something like this:
Had the most amazing first date last night!
That first date is now my husband.
I didn’t start blogging or networking again for 3 years. I needed to plug back into experience. I needed to be & feel something deeper than pixels & posts. It took me 3 whole years to rediscover the depth of my own spirit.
* * *
I’ve said before how much the phrase “in real life” bothers me. I’ve also said before how real & deeply connected I am through the relationships I’ve cultivated in my digital world.
Analog – the physical & tangible world – and digital – the electrons & code world – are very much the same to me.
To be fully alive in either, requires a profound experience of life around you.
It’s not enough to try to cover up either world with superficial relationships, well-crafted marketing messages, or feeble calls to action. We can be artificial in the analog world too.
The way you interact with the world – whether digital or analog – is a reflection of the experiences you absorb & create.
Strive to do something that matters. Plan to find love, make love, and be love. Learn and teach. Be mindful of your smallest experiences as shared stories with the wider world.
To share the experience, we must really live the experience, as it unfolds moment to moment.
— Gwen Bell, Digital Warriorship
Mindfulness is at the heart of truly enjoying the experience of life. You can go through life flying from moment to moment, never being aware of the passage of life just below your feet. Or you can experience the feeling of each moment. You can breathe in & breathe out life.
Mindfulness is critical whether you’re accessing the analog world or the digital.
Acting with compassion & kindness, leading with your passion, engaging with beauty – that’s where you’ll find “realness.” And real is never obsolete.
What experience is your digital world reflecting? What experience is your analog world reflecting