This piece originally appeared as an exclusive for my subscribers… but I couldn’t bare to not share it with you as well.
There are naysayers in our lives who reinforce our own fear of action & creation.
These aren’t people who live on the periphery or hang out in the shadows; they’re our husbands, wives, sisters, friends, parents…
They mean well – they’re not trying to squash our dreams or ridicule our ideas. They just don’t want to see us get hurt, they don’t want to see us fail.
They’ve been taught over & over again that “doing something different” doesn’t get rewarded, it gets punished.
When I first started blogging, my husband didn’t get it. I told him I was building a business, that I was working, that I was trying to contribute to the family.
Each time I opened the laptop, I could feel his disapproval. It weighed on me. I felt guilty for researching artists while breastfeeding (what the heck else was I supposed to do?). I rushed through writing in the evening so that he could putz around on Facebook.
I made every accommodation I could while still working towards my goal.
Little by little, things started to change.
“Working” went from a euphemistic put down to a legitimate call to arms. Small victories brought larger ones.
I’m going to tell you that it wasn’t easy to change his mind. In fact, I never really did.
His support doesn’t come from understanding the work – it comes from seeing the results.
In fact, I asked him, “What advice would you have for someone who’s struggling with getting started or keeping momentum because of unsupportive people around her?”
He said, “Tell her to just keep going. And leave a trail.”
Wow! Sometimes I DO remember why I married him. Yes! Leave a trail of results. Leave a trail of ideas initiated. Leave a trail of breadcrumbs so your naysayers can come find you in the forest of success.
If you are waiting to start until you have the approval of others, even those closest to you, you will be waiting forever.
You need to start so that you can show results. Results matter.
It doesn’t mean you need to succeed at everything you do. In fact, I’ve failed a lot on this path. You can fail and still have results that mean something.
In fact, failing gives you an incredibly valuable result. It’s one thing you no longer have to try, one thing not weighing on your consciousness of ideas.
When I work with a client or compose an email to send you, it’s always with results in mind. It’s not enough for me to communicate a message. I need to say something that creates a result for you.
The goals I have, the blog posts I write, the projects I start – it’s all to create a result. Sometimes the results are financial. Sometimes they’re mental. Sometimes they mean my family doesn’t see me for awhile and sometimes it means they get sick of me.
The result is the key.
People – yes, even that cantankerous person you’re thinking of right now – respect results.
Even if they don’t understand how the result was achieved. Even if they disapprove of the process. Even if they can’t imagine living that way or never imagined you’d live that way.
The result is what lasts.
But you have to get started to get a result.
{image by Erin Tyner}
